Source: My Happiness is My Responsibility

Fairy Tale Short Story by Nina Krebbers

Once upon a time there lived a camel named Clyde. He was a camel full of wonder and joy, encouraged to be curious in his camel family. One day, a long trip began, and the entire family was expected to follow the group accordingly. They were promised that there was a place of abundant water, & a better life for the entire camel family. But after many days of walking, Clyde became without purpose in following his parents. He wanted to explore in his own way, but his parents kept reminding him to stay close and behave, and that they knew better. Clyde listened to them, but he then lost confidence in himself in expressing what he wanted. His voice fell on deaf ears. He began to believe his desires were unimportant. He felt he no longer mattered to his family. He believed he was dumb and naïve to want anything. Just then, Clyde heard alluring voices coming from inside the darkness of a nearby cave. “Won’t you come in? We could play together & be friends.” No one else heard the voices. Clyde felt a pull to go into the cave. He believed that whoever it was, they could make him feel important again. He deliberately crouched away, out of fear of being seen, and entered the cave. Instantly, the opening to the cave disappeared. Clyde fell under a spell, and lost his memory of being a ‘bad’ camel. He noticed snakes all around him, giving him lots of attention. Soon Clyde believed he was a snake, slithering and hissing as the other snakes did. He thought he belonged here. He was getting the affection and attention that he desired. It wasn’t too long after that Clyde felt something was wrong. He felt bad for not wanting to agree and feel the same as the others. They criticized him and insulted him when he did not act like them. They even resorted to calling him names to control him. They insisted that he be grateful with the family he had in them. No longer feeling important, feeling alone and afraid, he hid himself away for many nights.
Out of a moment of awareness, he realized he had nothing left to lose by wanting to leave the cave and upsetting the others. Nothing here held any meaning that it once did. He confided in his friend Sammy, and asked him for help. “That is a very dangerous thought”, Sammy stated. “No other snake has ever left here, and came back to tell about it. The snake family will not agree with your request.” Clyde stated, “I don’t care, I can’t go on like this anymore. I am willing and ready to take that chance, and be seen.”
Clyde did something different. He came out of hiding, and declared out to all the snakes, “I was scared to be myself. I am now announcing that I want to live my life in my own way, without apology, and without shame. I am willing to expose myself and be seen by all of you as ‘bad’ & ‘selfish’. I am here to tell you that I want to leave this place, even though you have warned me that it’s a stupid and naive idea. I no longer join in your rules and beliefs, for I no longer need your approval or permission to want my own happiness.” Clyde was scared, but he also began to feel an inner assurance rise up within him. He truly believed he deserved to be happy. “I am responsible for my own feelings and deserve to make my own decisions. From this moment on, I shall believe in myself, and trust in what lies beyond this confined place. If you do not understand, that is ok, I will accept that; but if there is anyone here who is willing to join me in finding a way out, please say so now.” All the snakes hissed and backed away, condemning him out of fear. Sammy called out. “Clyde, I am not afraid; I would very much like to join you.”
In that moment of clarity, the cave’s spell was broken. Clyde and Sammy, in their power & confidence, found themselves standing outside the mouth of the cave. They remembered who they really were, both camels again, filled with wonder and joy. They set themselves free; happy with what they both accomplished in joining together and following their hearts.
Clyde no longer felt unimportant, invisible or dumb, for he experienced his own courage, power and strength. He experienced self-love in noticing and standing up for himself from a place of love, and modelling that to others. He re-connected with his camel parents. Clyde shared in their trust of fulfilling their own dreams of unlimited happiness and abundance for everyone. Clyde and Sammy were both excited to share in having found their purpose again. That very day, the camel family found themselves at their destination, with all the water they could drink. They all rejoiced and lived happily ever after.

I RELEASE from my fields the desires & expectations others wish FOR me, (because they want me to be or to have what they haven’t yet acknowledged or accepted within themselves)
(Others want for me to do what they want, to do what is right for them, be agreeable, know what they know, to instruct, inform & correct me just so I can be safe, peaceful, wise, healthy & happy.)
I am the only one who gets to decide what I want for myself, what I want to do for myself, what I want to agree with, what I want to be, how I want to feel, what I want to know, and what I want to have & to hold within myself. I allow myself to hold my own desires within myself, and receive those desires for myself.
I RELEASE from my fields the desires & expectations others wish FROM me; (because they want me to give them that which they have not yet acknowledged, accepted & given to themselves).
(to give them my understanding, my agreement, my acknowledgement, my validation, my approval, my agreement, my appreciation, my attention, my respect, my power, my acceptance, my time, my space, my connection, my support, my joy, my happiness, my excitement, my love)
I am the only one who gets to decide what I want to acknowledge, accept, & desire from myself. I hold my own desires and/or fears within myself. I allow myself to receive in the world the desires/fears I hold for myself within myself. I am responsible for my reality.

I RELEASE from my fields all the desires I wish FOR others & release all the desires I expect FROM others.
(I want for others to be fulfilled, peaceful, content, self-reliant, responsible, accepting & happy. I want them to give me love, acknowledgement, consideration, understanding, appreciation, encouragement, compassion, acceptance, honesty, & respect. I want others to be open, trusting, understanding & accepting of me & all my decisions & actions I make for myself.)
Others actually get to decide what they desire/fear for themselves & from themselves. They get to decide how they want to be, how they want to feel, & what they want to give to me or withhold from me. I allow them to have their own feelings, make their own decisions, and take their own actions. It is not my responsibility or business to want anything for them, or from them. It is not for me to question their judgements about my feelings, beliefs, decisions or actions. They are responsible for their reality, & am I responsible for mine.
I RETRIEVE from the world all the pieces of me I have given away, and lovingly hold them within myself. They are all I have ever wanted and hoped for in myself, for myself. I give to myself all the wisdom & gifts that flow within my soul’s essence, and to be open, trusting, & accepting of all my feelings & decisions I make for myself.
I am in gratitude to have & to hold within my soul’s Light Essence, the treasures of love, happiness, peace, trust, honesty, support, wisdom, connection, appreciation, consideration, devotion, radiance, strength, certitude, power, safety, honor, respect, stillness, grace, beauty. It is my privilege, my right & my responsibility to hold, activate & anchor these radiant gems within my divine river of Light & shine them for myself and the world.

From Challenge to Solution.

Why do challenges in life keep happening to me? What am I to ‘cast’ away and ‘let go’ of? What have I done to have ‘gone astray’? What specifically is ‘unseemly’ talk & thought? What are ‘idle fancies & vain imaginings’?
What is not worthy of my focus & attention but always steals it away?
The answers to these questions stem from fear. I am afraid for some reason, and I have used a fearful strategy in life to cover up that fear. Following, are 4 basic fearful rules I’ve lived by, & have been using to get rid of fear, but actually continue to summon all the challenges into my life.

1. Holding responsibility to live a life that others are wanting for me, (to be happy, safe, competent, smart, strong, independent, empowered, serenity) because if I don’t, I’m afraid to feel their feelings, as well as mine. (dis-connection from our Essence)

2. Holding responsibility to give others what they want/expect from me (my happiness, love, acknowledgement, service, support, assistance, attention, validation, generousity, gratitude, connection, loyalty, dependability, understanding, warmth, hospitality) because if I don’t, I’m afraid to feel their feelings, as well as mine. (disconnection from our Essence)

3. Placing responsibility on others to live a life that I’m wanting for them (to be happy & secure, loved & content, self-reliant, self- responsible, empowered, hopeful & grateful) because if they don’t, I’m afraid to feel my feelings as well as theirs. (dis-connection from our Essence)

4. Placing responsibility on others to give me what I’m expecting & wanting from them (humility, honesty, kindness, love, understanding, acknowledgment, acceptance, respect, consideration and support) because if they don’t, I’m afraid to feel my feelings as well as theirs. (dis-connection from our Essence)

SOLUTION:

I happily let go & cast away all this unseemly talk & thought, all these idle fantasies & vain imaginings that keep me disconnected from my own Beautiful Essence. I happily let go of all responsibilities that others have placed on me to hold, or that I placed on others to hold. These rules of obedience are not worthy of my attention. I gather, attach & hold only that which is mine, attending to loving my own Divine Light. This is my one and only Responsibility. I reconnect with my Inner Essence of Light & Love. It is my Divine Trusted Treasury House that holds all the vibrations of connection, love, peace, safety & support etc, that I will ever want & need. This Living Light flows through my heart, rises up to the Heart of Source, & reaches down to the Heart of Earth. I take firm hold onto the cord of My Luminous Garment. I drink from the Ocean of My Knowledge. I soar in the atmosphere of My Love. I immerse myself in the well-spring of My Breath. I model & demonstrate to myself & the world all the Gifts, Wisdom & Mastery I hold in my All-Glorious Essence.

Source: “Worship God; ye have none other God beside Him”