Hello. My name is Nina and I’m an addict. My drug of choice is “story”. I drink and get drunk off of “My Story”. The drinking has gotten to a critical point in my life. It’s not enjoyable anymore. I have gotten control of it when I’m alone, but Im afraid to say no to others. I’m angry when I believe I need to drink my story when I’m in conversation with others. I believe in my story that “I need their approval & love.”

And so I’m happy that I do not have any cravings to drink when I’m alone. But I still believe in my story when I accept drinks from others . (“Other People’s Stories”.) I’m not being true to myself when I do this. I then blame the other for forcing their addiction onto me. But I’m the only addict in reality, and I’m the only one that can stop drinking. I have no control over my story of other people’s story.
Stories are separation. They include everything that holds the I-identity in place as real (I need other people’s love and approval.)

This progressive addiction has come to its end. I’m aware that its in the constant drinking that I stay sick. I now know that it is my addiction that is the cause of my suffering. Its keeping me separate from ever-present awareness.
I need to quit. I need to be aware when I am about to take that first drink.

I project the reason I drink of my story onto others who I believe are pushing their drinking stories onto me, and I blame them for it. So, in believing that I must drink because they’re offering their story, I stay drunk. I wasn’t even aware that I was the one getting drunker, not them.

I am addicted to story. I know I am by the way Im feeling after I ingest it. I want to stop, but the people that I hang out with, are also drinkers of stories. We are both unconscious of the damages that it is doing to the mind. I need help.

This is how it works. Somebody will unconsciously offer me a drink and I am afraid that if I don’t accept it from them, they won’t like me; so I reluctantly take it. Then I realize that I didn’t want it and I’m angry and fearful at the person for what I did. I blame them for forcing me to drink. But am realizing that it is in accepting this drink of story that I become drunk off it. I blame the other person for the reason I’m angry. And the more I drink of my story about them (ruminate), the angrier I get.
I have to tell myself that I cannot drink anymore drinks of the past or future. And I need to gently remind myself that I cannot accept other people’s offers anymore. It kills my happiness.