The solution is in, first, seeing the doubt, then owning. Feel it without judging it. It doesn’t define you.
Doubting is a result of believing in the lie that you need to qualify the worth you already are.
Unowned doubt keeps you doubting your true worth and keeps you from owning your True Worth. You seek outside approval and allow others to control you because you doubt your own self worth. You hide more, agree more, understand more, excuse more, explain more, function more, control more, consume more, promote more, advise more, manipulate more, convince more, achieve more, praise more, produce more, justify more, do more.
See through those lies & violations that want to make you doubt your own self-worth. They want to measure you and determine whether or not you are worthy of their approval. They want you to believe you need qualifiers and quantifiers to feel worthy.
Own that feeling of unworthiness.
Own that feeling of being labelled “unqualified”.
Own that feeling of being labelled “unquantified.”
It doesn’t define or confine the shining reality that YOU already are.
You are Whole & Worthy, regardless of what or how much you do or don’t do.
In other words, LOVE ALL PIECES OF YOU. Own it all: the good, the bad, the flawed, the confused, the secretive, the ugly, the ordinary, the quaking, the crazy, the doubting, the rebellious, the roaring, the shaming, the silly, the nerdy, the crazy, the stubborn, the stupid, the special.
You’re much more than that, and still undefined by it all.
“Abandon not the everlasting beauty for a beauty that must die, and set not your affections on this mortal world of dust.”
Bahá’u’lláh
The Hidden Words – Persian (p.14)
Remain unwaveringly steadfast in the Sanctuary of the Peaceful Heart.
Protect your Wellbeing, its peace & security, from the ungodly gaslighting trappings which seek to steal away your Inner Compass.
Beware should the stranger arise to offend you into the need to attack, provoke you into the need to defend, gaslight you into the need to fear & doubt, or threaten you into separating from the Sanctuary of the Peaceful Heart.
Fear not your Intuitive Indicator Light warning you to protect your Sanctuary.
Abandon all engagement with that which is blind and deaf to the Sanctuary of the Peaceful Heart.
Reject not the Friend for a phantom corpse that will die.
Set not your affections on defending-attacking this mortal world of dust.
Emotional pain is inevitable. The fear that it is your enemy and means something unworthy or not good about you, will make you resist it and find a scapegoat to place it onto. You ‘believe’ you’re worthy & good, and that you don’t ‘deserve’ the inflicted pain, but there’s an unhealed part of you in pain that doesn’t believe it’s worthy of love, so it is that part that brings the pain to you, so you can finally own it and set it free. Do you see?
Instead of viewing pain as the enemy to resist, control or outrun, surrender to it & allow it to be felt completely. It has a great gift. Welcome it. It brings the gift of forgiveness. It brings the remembrance of the Wholeness & Innocence that you already are.
Suffering is the perpetual resistance to owning that banished part of you in pain because of the meaning of unworthiness and threat you gave it; so it stays repressed and banished to hell. Let go of the misunderstood pain of separation that gets covered up with false narratives.
When unowned pain gets triggered and resurfaces, the belief that it’s a threat gets activated too. That belief feels so intolerable that you immediately reject the pain and take control to get rid of it. You blame it on a world of your making, with the intent to feel better about yourself. This keeps you bound and confused as to why you never feel whole just as you are.
In this state, you unconsciously control the narrative as it suits you in order to keep that “pain of unworthiness” in hell. But that banishment haunts you. You reactively manipulate, minimize , rationalize , justify or spiritualize the pain of your reality and the reality of others in order to keep that original judgement out of awareness.
The solution to be free of the lies of unworthiness is available to you in the trigger. Lean into the pain, and remember its innocence. See through the lie that tells you the pain is a threat that you must fight, fawn or flee from to make it go away. Do the opposite. Own it. Welcome the pain. Give yourself permission to reunite with it. It’s not your enemy. It’s the Friend. The Gift of Confirmation will come in the non-resistance. The revealing of the truth of your Wholeness & Power shall set you free of any more deception.
“The well-being of the reality of man, it’s peace and security, is unattainable, unless & until its unity is fully established”. Baha’u’llah
It’s a thin line between friendship and manipulation. That line is all about intent.
Manipulators, disguised as friends, have a knack for making you do what they want while concealing their ulterior motives & private agendas.
It’s a lot like having a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing – they act like your best friend but they are the stranger secretly manipulating you.
These ‘friends’ often exhibit certain subtle behaviors that give them away. And if you’re smart, you’ll pick up on these signs early on.
1) They spin the truth
These ‘friendly’ manipulators are masters at spinning tales. They weave their narrative so skillfully that it’s hard to distinguish fact from fiction. “Selling their spin” is their way of controlling the narrative and framing you in the direction they want. It’s subtle, it’s strategic, and most importantly, it’s deceptive.
2) They always play the victim
They are never at fault, never responsible for their actions. And they use their ‘victim’ status to distract & get what they want. It is always about their problems, their feelings, their wins, their life.
They attempt to make you feel guilty if you ever try to share your own problems or if you’re not there for them at their beck and call. Your needs and feelings come secondary to theirs.
They’re not just seeking support; they are manipulating you into prioritizing them above everything else.
3) They’re experts at guilt-tripping
They use guilt as a tool to maintain power in the relationship, ensuring you feel indebted to them.
4) They constantly belittle your achievements
These individuals have a knack for minimizing & dismissing your insights, inspirations, ideas, connections, accomplishments.
This constant belittling is their way of keeping you in check & faithful to a false sense of unworthiness like them; ensuring that you never feel too confident or self-assured. After all, if you start remembering your own inherent worth, you might just realize that you deserve better than their “friendship”.
5) They’re always testing & violating your boundaries
For the manipulative ‘friend’, your boundaries are merely ‘lines to cross’ without the negative consequences.
They constantly push the limits to see how far they can go.
This is a strategic move. By gradually eroding your boundaries, they gain more autonomy over you and the relationship.
Remember, it’s not scary to set boundaries – it’s ESSENTIAL & KIND. And anyone who continually disrespects them is not acting in your honour.
6) They’re never truly happy for you
They quickly change the subject or subtly downplay your good news. Or perhaps there’s a hint of jealousy in their eyes. This lack of genuine happiness for your joys, connections & successes is a telltale sign of manipulation.
7) They use your secrets against you
You notice that your secrets are being used against you. Your vulnerabilities are brought up during arguments, used as weapons to hurt you or make you feel small.
This kind of betrayal cuts deep. It’s a clear sign of manipulation and a blatant abuse of trust.
8) They’re always the center of attention
Whether it’s a group conversation or a one-on-one chat, they somehow manage to steer the topic back to themselves. They crave the spotlight and will do whatever it takes to keep it shining on them.
This need for constant attention can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant. It’s a subtle form of manipulation designed to keep you in their shadow.
If someone always insists on being more significant & important (or advising you to get more significant & important) they’re likely hiding their own insecurities than interested in a true connection with you.
9) They make you question your own frame of reality
The most dangerous form of manipulation is called gaslighting – a psychological tactic where a person makes you doubt or downplay your own preferences, perceptions, or memories.
The goal is to destabilize your direct sense of reality, making you question your own boundary lines.
This is not just manipulation; it’s a form of emotional hyjacking. And it’s important to recognize it for what it is.
No one has the right to undermine and steal your experiences or trample on your feelings. Trust & honour your own feelings and your own perceptions. You know your reality better than anyone else.
Seeing who you’re not a match with can be devastating at first, traumatizing even, but in the end its a blessing. It’ll give you the wisdom To know who is FOR you, And who’s not. Let go of the mismatches. And keep going. Reject and be rejected. Its healthy; Until you’ve found a match.
When you want my time, attention, and respect; then respect my time and attention.
Honour all that I value, and hold space for me so I can gain trust in your presence to speak to you at a level worthy for both of us.
If you don’t care whether or not my truth matters to me, I will not feel favourable to give you my time, energy or attention.
I want to trust that my beliefs and opinions will be honoured by you, which is a reflection of my faith in you. I want to feel seen & heard, not talked at or over, overlooked, dismissed, dominated by your terms of what I can and cannot say.
Please find ways to relate with me that will show me that you’re truly interested in me.
Love me with your heart, that I may love you with mine.
Cast away the divisive stranger of unworthiness hiding behind the noisy mask of self-significance, self-intelligence & self-righteousness, and instead, intuitively breathe in the Unifying Friend of Peace.
They are the unrecognized, unowned, unaccountable, shame-bound resistances that fragment the Wholeness of who you really are:
Frighten yourself.
Fight yourself.
Freeze yourself.
Flee yourself.
Fault yourself.
Forsake yourself.
Fake yourself.
Fail yourself.
Fret to forget.
Force to forget.
Fawn to forget.
Fume to forget.
“One righteous act (of owning these blocks without resistance), is endowed with a potency that can so elevate the dust as to cause it to pass beyond the heaven of heavens.”
Bahá’u’lláh
Gleanings from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh (p.286)
Nina’s Nuances 