Waking Up From A Lie

I, rationally but fool-heartedly, tried to win approval because I had been mistakenly aligned with a ‘toxic frame of reference’.

This ‘frame of reference’ is a story version I believed about myself. It created within me a trauma-based fight-flight-freeze-fawn response in order to cope with my haunting anxieties and fears that got triggered everytime I felt out of alignment with people & places. But instead of setting boundaries, and choosing to advocate for myself, my trauma-mind would merge with the toxic frame of reference. My trauma voice literally had a stranglehold on me to throw my ‘unacceptable’ truth under the bus. I caved in finding myself, time and time again, hiding behind my “agreeable nature”, just to feed off an appearance of a connection. But inside, I was hiding and alone.