There’s a natural, inborn, instinctive, intuitive intelligent Power within each of us. It understands the hidden agendas, insecurities, and motives of co-dependent programming.
This co-dependant programming is a symbol of powerlessness & impoverishment. It’s a seductive but destructive force that ultimately keeps our Present Power & Joy hidden away from us, without our awareness. It deceives us with confusion & fog, so we willingly leave our Self, and hand over our Power of Self-Custody.
Co-dependent programming can show up as both under-functioning & over-functioning. It takes over our Self. When not aware of the Power of Perfection we already are, we won’t value it, and instead, we’ll value “what’s wrong in other” as something that needs to be managed & fixed.
Our Self-awareness falls prey to over-functioning thinking and behaving, seducing and deceiving our awareness to stay disempowered and focussed on the perceived problem in ‘other’.
Co-dependant programming uses seductive deception to confuse us so we give our power away willingly. We will, unknowingly, embody the traits of an under-functioning, over-functioning impulse-compulsive problem-solver. We become dominated by it, becoming dominated by under-functioning or over-functioning. This deceptive seduction becomes compulsion & addiction. It siphons our Power away from us to over-focus on the needs, desires & actions of ‘other, through “vigilance, urgency, compulsivity, obsessiveness, impulsiveness,”; thereby abandoning our Self-Aware Breath, Pause, Simplicity, Calm & Clarity.
This is my INFJ story:
I hold the power to absorb other people‘s emotional states. I am able to energetically & holographically project myself into their world, literally. I identify with them and immediately a seductive attachment occurs where I vacate and abandon my Self-Care, giving me full access to meet & manage, worry & fear for the needs,desires & actions of “other”.
I become them. I meet their needs; not mine. I validate them, not me. I attend to them, comfort them, not me. I hand them my everything, leaving my Self nothing. I have the superpower to ‘being other’ while ignoring ‘being myself’. I portal my Self to another place, and become a ghost to myself. I zoom over to their world, take over their awareness thinking, feeling & perceiving for them, in order to attend to them, encourage them, pleasure them, relieve them. I am literally stripping both of us, our human dignity to think, feel and perceive on our own behalf, in our own way, for our own journey.
I (over)manage, (over)function, (over)control, (over)accommodate. I hollow myself out, rejecting and betraying my self-awareness, to then becoming fully hyper-focussed on their needs & expectations. I get lost in attraction-repulsion, desire-fear, pulling-pushing. When I sacrifice myself for others to see, hear, care for me, I just sacrificed myself to see, hear and care for mySelf.
After such time we have suffered long enough under this destructive patterning, the power of our Intuition comes online to meet this co-dependency. The power of Self-Awareness leads us to take action & reclaim our Power to BE self-aware for our Self and what is best for our being.
I am responsible to take action to place my Power back into my Self-Custody.
You are responsible to take action to place your Power back into your Self-Custody.
This power is ours, as God created It. We need to claim it for our Self. Nobody else can be our Self.
I now recognize these out-going preferences, desires & limitations everywhere and in everyone. They sent out distress signals from a “problem” place within my awareness, to convince me I must “immediately and urgently” meet something that’s not mine to meet. These distress signals are codependency signals that if I impulsively run to meet them, will only have me become misaligned, and separated and lost from mySelf, my wellbeing; its calm & security.
Everything has shifted. I consciously return back to MySelf, and reclaim my own self-leading, self-directing, self-sustaining being that only wants my Best Interest. I return to Presence. I Breathe. I Slow down. I Go inside. I am still. No more portalling my frantic awareness into another time & place, taking over thoughts, feelings, perceptions that force me out of MySelf. No more changing my Body-Awareness-Space into a shadow ghost to take over another body-awareness space. It’s harmful for both of us, and violates our True Purpose to honour each other as we truly are. It is the way of suffering. It is a way of remaining unaware and lying to our own awareness that It has no value or worth of its own, on its own.
In Recognizing this truth, the need to “rescue other” or “blame other” disappears. In recognizing this, the compulsion to embody the Beingness of others, loses its purpose. I return to my Own Beingness, I give to myself, and fill up my own safety, my own security, my own happiness and wholeness. I practice Self-Awareness being and attending to myself. The next time “other” appears out of alignment with their self-awareness, I will be ready & aware to not impulsively react & rescue them out of their problem-project, and make them into my problem-project.
I will be ready and aware to let go of my compulsion to meet what they can and must meet for themselves. I will stop feeling the need to have them abandon their self-awareness to meet mine. We both can attend to our own Self-Needs of our own Being. I know now, that if they are unable to do so, it doesn’t mean they can’t. I must show them that I will not betray my Own Self for their lack of self. . They are perfectly capable of meeting their own needs for safety, security & alignment. I will not “play along” molding myself to their desires for friendship if that means I stop being friend to myself. I will not act as if I’m taking their side while, in reality, I’ve left My Own Side. I will no longer pretend to make what is theirs into mine.
This could includes the following;
I now want to give back to “other”, their preferences, their desires, their limitations and their deal breakers! I give back to them their stories, their projects, their plans, their relationship problems, their money problems, their grievances towards society, their ideas about food, their preferences desires, skills & limitations for vehicles, hobbies, sports activities, farming, horticulture, work schedules, business & accounting, cleanliness, body image, renovations, therapeutic & spiritual knowledge, self-help courses, videos, camping, skiing, dancing, singing, partying, yogaing and exercising, their need for service work, their energy healing stories, their knowledge of esoteric history, information, & conspiracy theories.
I now lay them all down. I detach myself completely from (over) extending my self-awareness onto “other”, so I can support & align with my own Beingness; to see myself, to hear myself, and understand myself and care about myself. I now care and support myself in aligning with myself again. I choose to see myself. I choose to hear myself. I choose to understand myself. I now give to myself everything that was mine all along: my sacred Beingness. My presence. My space, my time, my live-affirming energy. My power.
Becoming a shapeshifter to embody and attend to the needs and desires of “other” is powerful, but it is the most destructive thing I could do. It never serves anyone’s wellbeing. I now breathe and lean back into my power. I rest here. I abide in peace. I own my Power consciously and intentionally. I will use it rightfully and righteously, to create my own epic life of true autonomy, happiness, abundance, joy, magic, adventure.
May you embrace and embody the Peace that you are.
To thine own Self be true,
In every present breath.
Nina’s Nuances 