Know ThySelf & Be Happy

What caused all my suffering in life?
I figured out that all my suffering was due to, unknowingly, entering into a ‘bad’ friendship/relationship contract with a “false ally drain”, in which I upheld and stayed in, because of the belief, “I’m a happy, supportive, compromising, compliant-friendly” person.”
“People like me”.
“I’m safe and secure when I’m liked”.
Another belief was: “in order to have a friend, I have to be a friend.”
It never dawned on me that the rules of true friendship were about commanding self-respect, power and friendship within my true self and having that reflected back to me.
Attracting “false ally drains” are always a poor and powerless way to relate. Friendship is a two way street, where giving and receiving love is full of God’s mighty, powerful love.

I was never shown what to do when I felt my ‘dashboard resistance lights’ turn on.
I was never taught that when any inner resistance came up with someone, to recognize that as a “false ally drain”. But my false beliefs got in the way, that said, “I am to be understanding; giving of my time& energy to listen, validate and support someone’s special story”. In other words: “be open to their wants needs, & persuasions”. 🙄
My “open compliance” was actually a mistake I made in fear. I had no real boundaries. Staying boundary-less was the wrong choice, but I was not aware of that. The belief I held was that “friendliness, compliance and compromise” go together, and it was my friendly obligation to meet that person’s desires in order to be “their special friend”.
Compromising to a “false ally drain” was great for the false ally drain, but never did it make me feel great in the end. I was using them as much as they were using me. Since they were satisfied with getting my special energy, I believed I should be satisfied in getting something in return. But I never felt truly satisfied or special. I left feeling empty and, later, resentful & judgemental towards them.
My beliefs were actually causing me all the harm that I endured at my expense. It wasn’t about “them” at all.
Here’s how it works. First of all, I was to hold the premise that I need to comply with “false ally drains” when they want something from me. I am to believe their beliefs, agree with their interests, and support what they support. I am to falsely believe it is “my responsibility” to compromise in order to match their “seeking energy”; even if the “false ally drain” has no idea how to meet me, see me, or understand me as I am.
But all I was doing was suppressing my ‘gut feelings’ that silently screamed, “back away from that person!!!” And when I ignored that Inner Directive, I abandoned myself over and over again.

Whenever past “false ally drains” would seek my company, I instantly assumed I was the ‘lucky one’ to have them “want” me, (I felt special).
They had me believing we were an automatic match. I was always willing, ready, flexible, forgiving and open to agree.
This was a belief in specialness that I held of myself for a long, long time. I was afraid to ‘not be’ special to someone in their eyes. I now turn to God for true justice.

I falsely believed I needed to continue seeking special company with “false ally drains” in order to be more socially acceptable in their eyes. I was a walking “take advantage of me if you like. I won’t ever disagree with your views and beliefs!”
I believed it was my responsibility to make the other “comfortable” with me on their behalf. What they really needed from me, was my compliance, which I gave automatically, wholeheartedly and unquestionably. If I made the “false ally drain” happy, then I believed their special validation was all I needed in order to secure my special well-being.

What a crock of shit !!!!! 🤣😩
What a crock of shit !!!!! 😠😖

What a crock of shit !!!!! 🤯😂

What a crock of shit !!!!! 🤣
What a crock of shit !!!!! 😂😂

What a crock of shit !!!!! 😆🤣

What a crock of shit !!!!! 😁🤪

What a crock of shit !!!!! 🤯🥴

Well, now that I see all of this very clearly, and I am absolutely clear about who I am and what I want for myself in my own life, all “false ally drains” can go to hell; because that energy has no place in my life anymore and it has no place in my world. I set my godling allys free, because I love myself and I only want to be truly helpful.
I command it is so.
It is done.
It is done.
It is done.