Awareness re-directed its awareness away from ItSelf.
Why?
Because Awareness desired to experience something It was not.
A long time ago, (one thought ago) Awareness created Mind, a filter of Feeling & Desire, through which worlds can be experienced by Awareness. Soon afterwards, Awareness, (with the desire of mind), desired to experience ItSelf as NOT ITSELF. Awareness willingly allowed itself to go to sleep, and willingly gave up its awareness of ItSelf: Its Infinite Eternal Loving Oneness, Freedom, Peace, Unity in order to experience duality (good/evil); something other than being aware of ItSelf alone.
Mind, without Awareness to direct it, was left orphaned and abandoned. It felt separate. There was now a void of unawareness out of which mind decided it had to fill. With “no awareness” being aware and in charge, mind became frightened and guilty. It thought it had done something wrong. It now felt it had to take on a role it did not know, in a world it did not know. No longer able to function as servant, it assumed the role of master. Mind assumed the power of Awareness without Awareness being aware. Mind, as feeling & desire, led without awareness.
With awareness ignored, and mind in charge, mind now attempts to create like its master. Being made of feeling & desire, it makes up thoughts, ideas, sensations, beliefs, concepts. Then it does what it does best: PROJECT. Mind’s only ability is to project itself. It attempts to create, but with no awareness in doing so, manifests an objective world, made up of subjects and objects.
With awareness present, (but unaware of Itself as Itself), an I-body/mind is made up. (thoughts, feelings, sensations, ideas, opinions, beliefs, concepts desires and imaginings, memories, narratives, monologues, dialogues, stories).
With awareness present, (but unaware of Itself as Itself), I-body/mind becomes an apparent living ‘thing’, a ‘subject’ among other ‘subjects’ called ‘objects’. It has taken on a life of its own. It now boastfully declares it’s stuff: I hear stuff. I see stuff. I smell stuff. I taste stuff. I touch stuff. I feel stuff. I think stuff.
I know stuff. I believe stuff. I have stuff. I take positions on stuff. I narrate stuff. I monologue and dialogue stuff. I believe I know the truth about stuff.
I love stuff. I hate stuff. I fear stuff. I’m proud of stuff. I remember stuff. I forget stuff. I am sentimental about stuff. I am resentful about stuff. I am forgiving about stuff. I know what the good stuff is and what the bad stuff is, even if others disagree on my stuff. I demand stuff. I compare stuff. I ask for stuff. I deserve stuff. I am worthy of stuff. I know this stuff. I don’t know other stuff. I know I can feel impatient with stuff. I know all this stuff. And on and on the list of stuff goes.
With awareness present, (but unaware of ItSelf as ItSelf), I-body/mind IS made of the very stuff that conceptualizes and perceptualizes stuff. It then puts this conceptual stuff all together into categories of polarity stuff:
Good bad, right wrong, forwards backwards, true false, worthy unworthy, smart stupid, beautiful, ugly, heaven hell, life death, greater worse, more less, far near, big small, win lose, rich poor, here there, past present future, time space, light dark, giving receiving…. And the list goes on.
It takes credit for the good stuff, blames other stuff for the bad stuff. Little does it know, however, that all this stuff is made out of the same stuff it is made of. STUFF. It’s not real apart from awareness, but mind has forgotten that it ever had a master. It forgot its true function as servant. Its a world led by an insane master.
Awareness is now fully asleep, unaware that the mind made up an objective reality, was taken hostage to ‘be’ a separate subjective body/mind identity. As long as unawareness ensues, it’s all allowed, and so the mind keeps on making more stuff up. After some time, in this world of time and space, mind gets stronger and stronger. It’s still allowed. Over time, mind gets fully established in the I-body identity. It ‘believes’ its in charge of its world. Desire grows and grows. Seeking pleasures in objects and avoiding pain from objects becomes its addictive function. It is never satisfied, no matter what it achieves, accomplishes or gets. I-body/mind is frustrated and wants more and more. The suffering becomes greater and greater, and more frequently. Pleasures also become greater and greater. I-body/mind grows and grows in its seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. Pleasure seeking takes on destructive forms. Will this dream world self-destruct?
All of a sudden, something happens to bring awareness. To the insane mind, it appears as intense pain. But, now, mind is insane. It has gotten so habitually addicted to acting as the controller, it doesn’t want to give up it’s apparent power. It blames people, places, and events for its pain, as a way to perpetuate itself; to keep awareness from awakening to ItSelf.
As awareness awakens slowly, mind becomes suspicious, to downright vicious, attempting to convince the I-body/mind to be very afraid OR ELSE. It takes on defensive/attacking positions, threatening, and controlling. It lashes out and retreats. It’s only function now is to keep awareness ignorant. (Mind is ignorant if left to be its own master). It must deceive the I-body/mind to obey, and that it has the rules to convince awareness that ‘it’ must submit. It is the arrogant blind leading the naïve blind.
Mind is the only stuff in existence, made by awareness, given the power to make universes. But this universe of duality was made by the mind without Awareness being aware of ItSelf. Mind assumed charge, ate from the tree of good & evil, and now, does not have the awareness to get rid of the apparent problems it made.
After what seems to be millennia, after multitudes and multitudes of I-body/minds living and dying, with stories and narratives of stories being experienced, a question arises?
Where did Awareness go?
Everything is confusing, fearful and insane. It’s time to set things right.
Awareness arrives as the Answer to a call for Love.
Now, with awareness coming back to the I-body/mind, it is seen that this apparent temporal ‘living entity’ is not really real. It’s all been a sleeping game, a trick-of-hand of role reversal. Awareness asleep, and a mind whose sole duty was to ‘run the show’.
The mind, its movement being feeling & desire, was never created to lead. It was created to follow. It disobeyed, out of ignorance.
After so-called billions and billions of years, awareness awakens in the mind/body that is tired of seeking and leading blindly. It begins to turn inward. It admits it doesn’t know it’s True Master. It desires to revert back to its true nature of being servant. It’s becoming ready to follow.
Once mind desires to return to Awareness more than it desires chasing mind-stuff, desire increases, and so does Awareness. It is at this point, that Awareness is able to recognize ItSelf as Awareness. It can see that the I-body/mind is NOT what it is. It is then able to break away and detach from the mind stuff, and BE ITSELF, aware and awake, independent of mind. The sense of an I-body/mind self is gone. With Awareness present and aware of being aware, there is only Awareness, and no sense of separate identity in a story.
Awareness stands as Awareness; aware & present. Thinking, sensing and perceiving still happen, but they happen to nobody.
It is the journey of Awareness falling asleep, (with mind in charge, dreaming of a world with the existence of separate aware characters in stories of birth & death, time & space) then Awareness guiding the mind back into ItSelf, and re-awakening to ItSelf in the dream back to ItSelf as Infinite Awareness. Awareness is its True Identity, and not the separate I-body/mind identity. Awareness is Present Now. Awareness is aware of being aware. It knows Its Only Function. Happiness and Peace have returned for body/mind. They know their function is simply to emulate Awareness. All is One at rest in Awareness as Awareness. Nothing else needs to be done. The rest will unfold naturally.
Nina’s Nuances 